The Marriage Mirror Challenge

By: Shawnee Eskridge , CFBCT Bible Tools: Romans 12:1 , 1 Timothy 3:1-13 Video Reference: Marriage Minutes I thought about this fact: when some people choose their profession or decide to answer their calling they are often thought to be very confident and passionate. I am very passionate about being a marriage counselor and very excited to branch out in the quest to help and heal families. However, in my walk I've also experienced self-consciousness, fear, hesitation, stagnation, procrastination and almost complete self-sabotage. My marriage is by no means perfect. That scared me the most. I tell myself all the time no marriage is perfect, but I know that the more consistent I am with my career and calling a couple’s first expectation of me will be to have it all together. Even in 1 Timothy it says that a minister is to have his house in order before working with the people of God. I try to hold myself to that line so hard. I don't tell people about the appointme...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tools: Don't Look Back , In Security , and Soul Detox Additional Resources: Soul Ties by Del Lawrence I don't know if it's that we don't realize it or that we don't like to to talk about it, but sometimes there is a very present third wheel during marital disagreements. The third wheel is Satan. His agenda to steal, kill and destroy is very real. Number one on his list is your marriage to your spouse. Second on his list is your marriage to God. If he can get you to destroy the former, getting you to doubt the latter is a child's play to him. The key is to not give him that opportunity. Help Satan destroy my marriage . . . who would willing do that, Shawnee? You, me, anyone when we're so caught up in our feelings. We forget to forgive or pray for God's guidance through a difficult time. Even forgetting to ask God for his guidance to continue good habits in marriage can be costly. Com...

By: Shawnee Eskridge, Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tool: Love, Romance and Marriage Off the top I had a problem for this post. It was an issue I came across trying to address the topic of romance in my marriage. "Romance" is not listed any where in the bible. However, before I wrote this post God revealed to me that the concepts of romance   are  clearly outlined in the bible. For starters " with love and kindness I draw them to me " and/or " I draw neigh unto you. ". This is my very definition of romance; the things done to bring about and nurture a deep, intimate closeness. I don't subscribe to the given definition of romance. It's specifically the " mystery " and the " remoteness from everyday life " that I take strong issue against. This is not the definition of romance I envision for my marriage. Something so bleak. Romance should fill my love tank in these areas: spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. Be...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Study Tool: Distractions in Marriage part 1 & 2 Distractions come so easy in marriage that it's unfair. If only the feelings of affection and happiness came as easily (or more frequently) as the distractions. The kids, our careers, extended family issues and unexpected emergencies distract from a marriage and become habit so quickly. The realization that there is a disconnect can blindside you. The thing is you cannot let the distractions continue to cause disconnection in your marriage. I, specifically, had to learn to become proactive against distractions. It started in a bad cycle. The bills were due. The dishes weren't done. The laundry piled up. The kids have homework. Work assignments are piling up. All this is happening and the romance or affection isn't coming fast enough. I became resentful, distant and standoffish (which came off as angry). The downside for me became that, in my distance,...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tool: The Unglued Challenge Terry and I have been married a little over eight years now. However, if I am honest, the best part of our marriage started only two years ago. When we started out the honeymoon phase fizzled out by year three. Neither of us were prepared for what came next - a lot of disagreeing. More to the point the intensity of the disagreeing. Everything felt like "the end". I grew tried of all the fighting in what I would like to consider as rather quickly. However, what really happened is that it took two years and me throwing around the "D" threat a lot for me to begin questioning myself. I got fed up with me; with my contributions to the conflict. I got to a point where something had to change. It was either me, the marriage, or both. I learned a while ago (over 10 years), when praying for your marriage to change, to learn to expect God to work on you first. (Thanks, Stormie Omart...

Good Morning Lovers! As we approach Valentine's Day in another year I am thinking about post Valentine's Day. I'm not a believer in expressing my love one day out of the year. Currently, I am working on the first ever H.A.W.I.S.M. seminar and book release. I have been finding my way as a marriage counselor. The one thing I have noticed is we are not doing marriage according to God's model. I think trying to articulate this sentiment is the reason I started this blog - The Marriage Mirror Challenge. However, since I began the blog is seems my greatest lessons on the subject have come from the things I have gone through with my husband. I love him dearly. Still we have gone through so much, most of which I attribute to having known him since elementary school. From age a 11 until now we have about 2 decades between us. So, call it growing pains. Spiritually, it's exactly what they were. Our endurance has been tested and given a chance to grow. By the God's gra...

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