Recovering From Lies: There is Work On Both Sides
Few things in marriage are more devastating than lying (or any form of deception). If you've read What To Do When A Spouse Lies by Drs. Les and Leslie, then you know the common reasons for lying and that there are essentially two types of lies. Whether or not you and your relationship recovers from a lie depends on two factors: the type of lie and your ability to forgive. Factor One: The Type of Lie Some people lie to avoid hurting the person they love. The hard part about this sentiment is that as loving as the sentiment seems this type of lie is still selfish. It is selfish because this type of lie is not told to avoid hurt, but to avoid consequence. It is passive. Seeing a spouse hurt and what they might do out of that hurt is a consequence which one does want to deal with (most likely because it may include accepting a loss). The first step to healing from this type of lie is to acknowledge the lie and the reason for the lie. If you are the one who lied it is better if ...