The Marriage Mirror Challenge

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith based Clinical Therapist Bible Tool: Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 I think we take the word "phase" for granted. Phases are inevitable.  Phases are simply a pattern of time or events that happen in a consistent sequence. The phase is guaranteed. The moon has phases and so do relationships. Lately, my husband and I have been revisiting the honeymoon phase of our marriage. It wasn't intentional, but it's a recent observation. We are always working to make our marriage better. A lot of the tips we share here (and across our social media) we practice daily. Lately, we've had a good streak I'd said since April of this year. The highlight I would definitely say was last Monday (June 25th). Terry already had the day scheduled to be off. It wasn't an anniversary. As a matter of fact, we were being moral support for my mother who's going through some serious legal matters. Her situation alone could have cast a cloud over the entire day...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tools: Don't Look Back , In Security , and Soul Detox Additional Resources: Soul Ties by Del Lawrence I don't know if it's that we don't realize it or that we don't like to to talk about it, but sometimes there is a very present third wheel during marital disagreements. The third wheel is Satan. His agenda to steal, kill and destroy is very real. Number one on his list is your marriage to your spouse. Second on his list is your marriage to God. If he can get you to destroy the former, getting you to doubt the latter is a child's play to him. The key is to not give him that opportunity. Help Satan destroy my marriage . . . who would willing do that, Shawnee? You, me, anyone when we're so caught up in our feelings. We forget to forgive or pray for God's guidance through a difficult time. Even forgetting to ask God for his guidance to continue good habits in marriage can be costly. Com...

By: Terrence Eskridge, Marriage Mentor Bible Tools: Love and Marriage  / Becoming The Husband She Needs My wife asked me to define romance. Well, I always pictured romance as flowers, candy and the like. Honestly, I don't have a clue besides the basics. So to me, romance is to make someone else happy by showing them you love them. For Shawnee, I try to focus on ensuring her security concerns because making her feel secure seems to be the most important thing for her. Somehow, romance makes her feel secure. It has been my experience that a lack of romance means an unhappy wife. Shawnee needs to feel loved, wanted and have constant affirmation. I don’t always feel romance brimming through me. I often get worn down by work or other happenings in life. Because of that I don’t always give her the romance she requires just to operate on a daily basis. Lack of romance has caused stagnation and resentment. We had a lot going on in the first years of our marriage. Shawnee at on...

By: Shawnee Eskridge, Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tool: Love, Romance and Marriage Off the top I had a problem for this post. It was an issue I came across trying to address the topic of romance in my marriage. "Romance" is not listed any where in the bible. However, before I wrote this post God revealed to me that the concepts of romance   are  clearly outlined in the bible. For starters " with love and kindness I draw them to me " and/or " I draw neigh unto you. ". This is my very definition of romance; the things done to bring about and nurture a deep, intimate closeness. I don't subscribe to the given definition of romance. It's specifically the " mystery " and the " remoteness from everyday life " that I take strong issue against. This is not the definition of romance I envision for my marriage. Something so bleak. Romance should fill my love tank in these areas: spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. Be...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Study Tool: Distractions in Marriage part 1 & 2 Distractions come so easy in marriage that it's unfair. If only the feelings of affection and happiness came as easily (or more frequently) as the distractions. The kids, our careers, extended family issues and unexpected emergencies distract from a marriage and become habit so quickly. The realization that there is a disconnect can blindside you. The thing is you cannot let the distractions continue to cause disconnection in your marriage. I, specifically, had to learn to become proactive against distractions. It started in a bad cycle. The bills were due. The dishes weren't done. The laundry piled up. The kids have homework. Work assignments are piling up. All this is happening and the romance or affection isn't coming fast enough. I became resentful, distant and standoffish (which came off as angry). The downside for me became that, in my distance,...

By: Shawnee Eskridge , Faith Based Clinical Therapist Bible Tool: The Unglued Challenge Terry and I have been married a little over eight years now. However, if I am honest, the best part of our marriage started only two years ago. When we started out the honeymoon phase fizzled out by year three. Neither of us were prepared for what came next - a lot of disagreeing. More to the point the intensity of the disagreeing. Everything felt like "the end". I grew tried of all the fighting in what I would like to consider as rather quickly. However, what really happened is that it took two years and me throwing around the "D" threat a lot for me to begin questioning myself. I got fed up with me; with my contributions to the conflict. I got to a point where something had to change. It was either me, the marriage, or both. I learned a while ago (over 10 years), when praying for your marriage to change, to learn to expect God to work on you first. (Thanks, Stormie Omart...