An Every Day Friday Marriage

By: Shawnee Eskridge, Faith based Clinical Therapist

Bible Tool: Ecclesiastes 3:11-13

I think we take the word "phase" for granted. Phases are inevitable.  Phases are simply a pattern of time or events that happen in a consistent sequence. The phase is guaranteed. The moon has phases and so do relationships.

Lately, my husband and I have been revisiting the honeymoon phase of our marriage. It wasn't intentional, but it's a recent observation. We are always working to make our marriage better. A lot of the tips we share here (and across our social media) we practice daily. Lately, we've had a good streak I'd said since April of this year.

The highlight I would definitely say was last Monday (June 25th). Terry already had the day scheduled to be off. It wasn't an anniversary. As a matter of fact, we were being moral support for my mother who's going through some serious legal matters. Her situation alone could have cast a cloud over the entire day, but I'm so glad just the opposite happened.

After we parted ways with my mother we took advantage of the opportunity of the kids not being around. We turned the rest of the day into what shall henceforth be known as #Datenight in the daylight. We got dressed up and went out for lunch in a new bistro in our neighborhood. Then we went to the gym and the pool together.

Just to hold his hand or kiss him without hearing, "Ewww". Or to wrap my arms around his neck without a kid pushing between us. To not worry about being too far away from the kids who refuse to learn how to swim. To flirt and play openly. . . It was GLORIOUS! We had not been like that in almost 9 years and it was magical.

When I think about our weekends I see bits of magic. Pockets of passionate alone time. Love letters in a book we keep. Watching him do non-traditional gender tasks like our daughter's hair. 😂 His reaction to his Father's Day present and the pride I felt in preparing it for him. It's all been what I define romance by - the good times that make difficult times easier to bare.

We have finally gotten to a place where flowers, candle lights, or movies made by Google Photos could come at anytime. Cuddling (with/without sex) has become medicine after a long day in this exhausting Memphis heat. Some of his favorite come-hither outfits have made more appearances. In process of it all, prayers have been answered; love tanks filled; kids are getting more face time with us; individually our confidence is growing.

Magic.

Blessings.

Experiencing pieces of Friday on "none Fridays".

How? Unlike Monday, some of it has been intentional. The most intentional thing I would say for me has been meditating. Meditating on our good times. Meditating with God about our difficult times. Holding myself responsible for taking my alone time. (This has become another pattern in my marriage and life.) I'm also being watchful of him to help him be accountable for his alone time (and occasionally to remind him to put the phone down and engage with the girls).

When I think on these things I wish everyday were Friday.